Being a Baba is easy! Says who? 

So, you thought being a Baba in India is easy! Well, I too used to think so, until I witnessed the recent public outcry against the very-popular Nirmal Baba. 


Given the amount of footage he is eating and the amount of newsprint he is claiming, that too for all the wrong reasons, I shudder wondering how I would have fared had I been in his shoes. And he is still continuing with his samagams offering krupa to a paid gathering of thousands of seekers. Managing a crowd of disciples in one go, offering instant gratification en masse and then putting the booty collected after each such samagam to good use, is no mean feat. 


Add to it the pressure of being on TV and drawing audience while competing with the Saas and Bahus, the IPL jamboree and the evergreen Bollywood and everything that holds the potential of engaging the senses of homo sapiens; being a baba is actually not easy. 


 Google the life of a Baba in India and you are bombarded with information. A careful analysis of what Google hurled at me, in the name of insight into Babadom, I can safely conclude that the decision to be a Baba, is a life-changing one, for there is no ‘Un-baba’ button available on the keyboard of life. Only if you have a strong resolve and an insatiable thirst for money, power and sex, click on ‘Baba-me’. The grind starts with identifying the ‘bhakts’ and the ‘home territory’. And mind you, that’s not easy. Already, there are numerous Babas, more than keen on stooping to un-baba ways to eliminate any possibility of competition and subsequent revenue loss. So, for the newbies, ‘holy’ cities are a strict no. Sleepy towns and quiet suburbs of metro cities may be a safe haven for them. 


So, once all this is done, you need to decide upon finding a spiritual (to ears) name for yourself and also freeze a dress code, which you have to maintain until the public clicks on the ‘Expose’ icon. You then need to get a photo shoot done with all the special effects and halos in place. Your marketing team may need it. Yes, a Baba needs a marketing team as well. The next step is to identify your krupa moments or the possible miracles you can present. Practicing the krupa moments is a must. Given the vigilant Indian media, a baba constantly runs the risk of having his krupa moments busted. 


A baba without chelas is like an IPL match without cheer girls. So, finding the right mix of crowd to serve as your disciples is again not an easy task. But, no way out. And not just anyone can qualify to be a chela, you need to find someone who can publicly vouch for your divinity and even claim being a witness to your miracles. Now, to live up to the expectations of your bhakts, you need to hone your oratory skills and mug up some philosophy and spirituality-related literature. It comes handy in the random Baba-moments you may encounter. 


Apart from this, the most vital garb a baba has to don is that of being vague and ambiguous, for that’s what an average bhakt loves to see in his Baba. Lastly, to earn money, you need to spend it as well. So, as a baba, you need to be generous with donations. See to it that the world gets to know about your generosity. It pays in the long run.

So, you still think being a baba is easy?